Drawing the Line

It was a Youth Rally in South Texas. Students piled into Grace Fellowship with all expectation to be changed. I was one of those students, and I wanted more than anything to find my calling. Throughout the next 2 days, I heard a few messages, but it wasn't until the last one that I made a decision to involve myself in something missional. Speed the Light. I heard the needs and my heart and spirit were moved with compassion. Finally, something I could do with my young, newly saved self that would impact the lost around the world. "How much should I give, Lord?" That number is gone from my memory, but I remember being filled with the desire to sell all that I could to give to workers who had already given all they had to answer the call. I sold my Ipod Nano (remember those?!), some fancy pairs of shoes, my camera, and did whatever little babysitting jobs I could find. Some may say that it was all hype or that I was chasing after something insignificant, but to that I have a reply: Hype fades away. I was changed. I walked different. The way I viewed material things was forever different. The measure of trust I placed in the Father to provide grew tremendously.

I could try to point to one moment in time where I was "called," but I would be leaving out all of the many times I have been asked by the Holy Spirit to obey. See, our callings are a compilation of the many times we have humbled ourselves to listen to the still small Voice. Burning bush encounters are appreciated, but not required. I will pause my story with this note: If you're waiting for your own burning bush encounter, you could be waiting in vain. Is there a need? Are you able to fill it? Then step up and do so.

I don't believe that it's the first question many struggle with. The need is always easy to see, to perceive. Look through your Facebook feed now, and you'll see the many posts from Christians with a lot to say about the tragedies happening globally. But how many of them are posting pictures, stories, prayers of their action towards change? You see, it's the second question that stings. Why? Because it deals with ability, capacity, equipping. Well, at least that's the question that stung for me. To be called to a foreign country was a "higher calling." To me, it was always something that only those who were brave, bold, and strong enough could do. Silly, right? I always wanted to be the one on the other side of Speed the Light; I wanted to be the one getting the vehicle, the sound system... but me? I'll pray, I'll give. I'll go if He lets me.

Jose's and my calling began to truly blend together at the understanding that there were people who have zero access to the Gospel. It was this injustice that gave us a binding burden. Not only was it the knowledge of their inaccessibility that gripped me, but the understanding that no one had reached them yet. There's where I drew the line. No more. "Lord, send me. I have to go." It was World Prayer at SAGU. An hour had gone by, everyone was leaving, but I couldn't get up. I couldn't stop weeping. After this encounter, when I found the strength to stand up, I walked out changed, yet again. I knew then that I would do whatever it takes to reach them. Whoever "them" was. From then on, it wouldn't be me, my ability, capacity, or equipment; it would be Him. He is able, He is capable.